Looking Out

She seeks but does she find?......

She seeks but does she find?……

Sarah and Vincent share a moment in time

Sarah and Vincent share a moment in time

There comes a time that we seek and look for the greater meaning of our lives. My quest seems to be an ever evolving process that began when I was very young and continues to this day with a yearning to understand more and yet a knowing that is timeless.

This weekend, I witnessed my daughter step into a role that was not originally hers but she did so with ease, grace and passion. Her role as an actress in a play about suicide and depression brought tears to my eyes and a contemplation of what colour would I be if I identified with any?

I came up with black and white and blue. These being the colours of bruising and darkness and contrasting light that have led me to think of this journey I am currently on. Of recent, I have no time for bullshit or false pretences. I seek authenticity in it’s purest form and I am honest with myself and with others. I am moody and restless and yet at times possess an inner calm that is ever so clear. I am setting boundaries and this shift of “me” is difficult for my family. For so long, my bottomless well of empathy and understanding and nurturing care has been my primary focus. However, this role I have been in is shifting and changing. I am no longer the same and I welcome this change.  When I look into the well, I see that it is running dry and that it is time for me to refill it with focus and purpose as I bend and break and re-align myself to what is true within my soul.

It is time to wake up and live to my full potential. The question is there. Now it is time to find the answer. Each moment gives me an opportunity to create the direction and content of each moment. The canvas is blank.

I look to the sea of calm waters to ground me in a world full of chaos and inner turmoil. I cannot fix this world but I can be a better example to inspire and be true to myself. I hold on to hope and trust.

Jump onboard and who knows what journeys lie ahead for us alone and collectively. The world is our oyster ready to birth a pearl!


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